Gifted Child? How to Manage the Roadblocks

You’re the parent of a gifted child, or maybe all of your children are gifted. If you are just starting out on this journey, you may not as yet have come across many of the stumbling blocks those of us who have traveled before you have. If you are well into your journey—yeah, you already know that there are stumbling blocks. Maybe you would even call them roadblocks, abysses or black holes. This is the best way I know to manage those roadblocks.

THE ROADBLOCKS 

To be gentle and to not scare the crap out of you, I’ll refer to them in a less negatively-impactful way—let’s simply call them roadblocks, shall we? Stumbling blocks doesn’t quite describe what we face as parents of gifted children.

These roadblocks most often start in preschool—perhaps when your gifted child is sitting in circle time singing the ABC song and learning his numbers, colors, and letters which he already knows, and has for some time now. Not only does he know his letters, he knows how to read. Numbers? He’s doing single-digit addition—in his head. To relieve his boredom, what’s a 3- or 4-year old to do? He may chat it up with his classmates or he begins to have trouble sitting still during that torturous circle time. And then you, the parent, get that first behavior notice from his teacher. Roadblock!

You now have a parent-teacher conference set to talk about your gifted child’s behavior, but how do you advocate diplomatically for your gifted child without sounding, you know, elitist or judgy, or that could earn you the reputation of that parent?

Yet, both you and your gifted child admirably slide through preschool relatively unscathed and your child is still interested in starting Kindergarten, and that preschool roadblock seemed more like a speed bump.

Over the summer, your child started reading early chapter books on the 2nd and 3rd-grade level—she should have an easy time in Kindergarten, right?. Uh, whoa, nope. Your child comes home from Kindergarten the third week with her ziplock bag full of sight word flash cards—every word she knows already. She can even string them into sentences and weave them into her own little stories which she writes in her journal, are on scrap paper laying around, or on your reports for work, or electrical bills. She’ll write her little stories anywhere and everywhere if writing paper is not immediately available. Yes, your daughter is reading and writing, but her classmates are memorizing sight words. Your daughter is getting frustrated.

How do you advocate for your gifted child without sounding arrogant or seem like you are bragging, or end up having your child’s teacher peg you as that parent? How do you tell your child’s teacher that your gifted child already knows the information being taught without the teacher getting offended or defensive? You know your gifted little girl needs more, but what your child’s teacher may say is that your daughter still needs to learn age-appropriate social skills, or that skipping ahead may leave gaps in her education. And you begin to notice your daughter becoming unhappy with school, asking you many mornings if she can stay home. 

No speed bump here; this has become quite the roadblock, more like a barricade. After many parent-teacher conferences, IQ and achievement testing, and probably a bit of begging from you, your daughter’s school makes a few modifications to accelerate her learning. Your daughter and you make it through Kindergarten and immediately begin to dread 1st grade.

YOUR JOURNEY, YOUR ROADBLOCKS

Your journey and your roadblocks may differ from the above situations. You and your child may encounter envy over your child’s intelligence from other parents or classmates, or your child may become the victim of bullying because his unmistakable intelligence makes him stand out and the perfect target for bullies. These struggles, these roadblocks are real, they can be hurtful and damaging, not just for your child, but also your entire family. So, when your roadblocks become a real wrench in the spokes, or your family begins to feel the emotional pain of it all, you question what can be done to make your gifted child’s life better. Where do you turn for help and information? Who do you trust—the school or yourself?

GO WITH YOUR GUT

YOU, yes you, know your child best—better than anyone else. You know in your heart that she needs more, she needs different, and she deserves better. Yet, the school, your friends and maybe even your family are telling you to listen to what the professionals, the educators in your child’s life, are telling you. It feels like you’ve fallen into an abyss with no safety net, no solid solutions. What the heck do you do?

GO WITH YOUR GUT!  What is your heart telling you? What is your gut instinct?

Going with your gut may mean going above your gifted child’s teacher, or the principal, and upwards into the school system to advocate for, to request, to demand an appropriate education for your gifted child. He deserves it, dammit!

Going with your gut may mean looking into other schools which may offer a better learning environment for your child where your child can be challenged and learn something new every day. Every child deserves to learn something new every day!

Going with your gut may mean looking into online learning programs offered through your public schools or privately so that your child can take accelerated classes in the subject areas he needs.

Going with your gut may mean seriously considering homeschooling which can afford your child the tailored education he needs, to follow his passions, and fulfill his potential.

THE SOLUTION LIES WITHIN YOU

I tell you this as a mom who did not go with her gut at first; as a mom who did not trust her instincts right away but went with what my children’s schools said they could or could not do. I tell you this as a mom who regrets not going with what my heart was telling me.

RESOURCES

If you don’t quite trust your instincts yet, do your own homework. Lucky for you, resources about giftedness in children are plentiful—books, blogs, websites, articles, studies, online forums, parent support groups. All the information, help and support you need to arm you with the knowledge you need to make the best decision possible for your gifted child. Here are some important links to the web’s best resources to get you started.

And, if you ever have any questions, reach out to me via my email: CrushingTallPoppies @ Gmail .com, or comment below because we have lots of readers who can offer expert answers to your concerns.

Crushing Tall Poppies Resources Page

Crushing Tall Poppies Facebook Page

Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page

SENG—Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted

And if you are considering homeschooling, when to make that decision, or how to educate a gifted child, my book is full of helpful advice!

Educating Your Gifted Child: How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling